Five Hott Senshi
by Usagi Princess1
Summary: OZ has been quiet and Dr. J knows why. He sends the Gundam pilots to protect the source of energy OZ is after. What if the energy is the sailor scouts? And the only way to carry out this mission is for the Gundam Pilots to pretend to be the Scouts...
1. Prelude: Humiliating Shuttle Rides

Hey ppl!! Here is (finally), my new fic. For all of you Humor ppl out there I hope you enjoy it!

Usagi Hime: "Wufei, how about you introduce it?"

Wufei: "aaheemmm…It is noted that.."

Duo: "Wait! I Wanna do it Wu-man!"

Wufei: "Baka! Go away! I'm busy!"

Duo: "Busy doing what? Telling them that woman are stronger?"

Wufei: "Baka!!!!! You're getting a haircut!!"

Usagi Hime : "Yea none of these people belong to me"

Chap1

"Last boarding call for flight 301 to Tokyo!" The flight attendant surveyed the area around her for anymore oncoming passengers and put the microphone down. She smoothed her skirt and began to close the door to the gateway.

Just as she began to close the door she heard a loud and excruciating scream.

"WWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!" A teenage boy whose hair was twice the length of hers was sprinting at full speed for the door. Quickly she opened the door before he could possibly run into it.

After a split second she realized he wasn't alone. A Chinese boy with slick hair pulled back seemed to be chasing the other in a storm of fury.

"Duo!! You Bastard!!! Get back here!"

The attendant froze with shock as the boy came at full speed; and with a long, shiny, and VERY sharp sword.

The first boy ran by her and closed the door himself; right in front of the angry boy's face.

The Chinese boy had been running so fast that instead of stopping he rebounded off the door like a rubber ball. What surprised the flight attendant that he got right back up; unfased.

Without even asking the Chinese boy opened the door and entered the gateway to board the shuttle. When he held the door open, the frozen flight attendant looked farther and saw three more teenage boys walking at a more casual pace.

As they passed the blonde haired boy gave her an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry if we've caused you any harm miss. Is there anything we can do to make it up?"

The timid flight attendant shook her head quickly and closed the door behind them.

"Why do I have to sit next to Wu-Man?" Duo complained looking at his seat number. All five pilots began walking towards the middle of the shuttle to where they were assigned to sit.

"Call me 'Wu-man' again and you'll never be able to experience certain pleasures ever again" Wufei gave Duo a cold hard stare.

Color rushed from Duo's face ad he gulped. "I don't wanna die young!" he exclaimed, painfully crossing his legs.

"Duo, you wouldn't die from being castrated…..unless he let you bleed to death" Trowa explained pointedly.

The shuttle became silent and everyone turned their faces to the five teenage boys. The boys froze and quickly took their seats, aware of the hundreds of shocked stares. Trowa sunk low into his seat and pulled out a book, trying his best to hide his face.

"Ugh. You guys! Please! We're on a shuttle! Not on …well you know.." Quatre meant to say Gundams but he knew saying such a thing would get all of them in huge trouble.

Heero sent Quatre a death glare, daring him to say the rest.

"Heheh. Don't worry Heero I wasn't about to. You don't need to 'Omae O Korosu' me." Quatre said to himself joyfully. As a matter of fact, Heero had never yet pointed a gun at him. Duo on the other hand….. Well that was another story. His joyful thinking was interrupted short when he was startled by Wufei's booming voice.

"Duo! Give me at least ONE god damned arm rest!!" Wufei tried to slam his fist on Duo's arm but Duo pulled away quickly. Wufei's fist recoiled and Duo once again took both armrests.

Wufei was just pulling out his Katana when Quatre jumped up form his seat from across the isle. "Wufei, why don't you take my seat. That way both of you can stop acting like kids and can both get an arm rest."

Both boys quieted immediately of the thought of being 'kids'.

"Aww common Quatre, I'm 18, not 7." Duo's face pouted and he looked down at the floor.

"Hmph" Wufei crossed his arms regretting the fact that he had to be in the middle seat.

Quatre sighed and slumped back down in his seat. As he surveyed the plane he found many people still looking their way and talking in hushed whispers.

"Why couldn't we have flown?" Quatre shook his head to himself. He could picture their perfect flight to Tokyo in Gundams without public embarrassments.

"We ARE flying Quatre" Trowa glared at him.

"Of-of course we are! How else would we cross the ocean?" He laughed at his silly public remark hoping no one had caught on.

A lady in front of him turned and stared at him and gave expressed her annoyance.

"If you don't MIND, I'm trying to let my baby sleep" she hissed.

"I'm so sorry mam we'll be quiet from now on. We're sorry for the inconvenience." Quatre tried his best to smile and waited for the lady to turn back around.

So while every pilot had gotten humiliated for one thing or another Heero sat quietly, with a perfect mark clear of embarrassment. He intended to keep it that way. Heero brought up his recent E-mail from Dr. J and silently read it to himself for the umpteenth time.

Gundam Pilots,

As you all know, Oz has been unusually quiet for the past month or so. But not to worry! I have found the reason. For your next mission, I need all of you to fly (BY SHUTTLE. Your Gundams are being updated) IMMEDIATELY to Tokyo. This mission is extremely Top secret so I cannot tell you what it is until you have reached my hide out. I will have one of my assistants pick you up at the Tokyo Airport promptly at 23:00 pm. Be there on time.

-J

Heero was just about to open up the file of the new updates on the Gundams when the flight attendant lightly tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me sir. We ask you to please turn off all electronics until notified by the pilot." She smiled kindly and waited for him to shut his laptop.

Heero gave her the death glare, daring her to make him turn it off.

The flight attendant, terrified, said,

"Uhh on the other hand just make sure you're not on the internet."

She quickly walked down to the back and never bothered Heero Yuy again.

"Hey, Quatre, how long is this flight gonna be anyways?" Duo crossed his arms impatiently, hoping for a short amount of time.

"Well from now we should land at about 22:50pm, which is 9 hours from now." Quatre checked his clock and nodded to his statement.

"HOLY SHIT!! NINE HOURS?????!!!!"

Everything went DEAD silent. "oops…." Duo slumped in his chair to avoid being seen and clamped his hand over his mouth.

"MAXWELL," Wufei growled in a low voice. "ONE more remark and I'm throwing you OFF this shuttle."

Duo imitated the motion of zipping a jacket with his mouth and became silent, well, for the time being.

Finally the shuttle took off from Africa, leaving it silent as it glided through the gentle air. Small sounds of a baby whining could be heard in the background, but most people watched the view outside in contentment.

Trowa and Heero kept themselves busy with their laptops, their eyes never leaving the screen. Both seemed engrossed and thrilled by the new updates being accomplished on their Gundams as they hung in mid-air.

Quatre kept himself peaceful with a book on "Politics for Peace." The blonde boy seemed to be enjoying himself now that he wasn't creating peace between one very close war: Duo and Wufei.

Duo on the other hand had just finished his Sudoku book and was left with nothing else to do. He sighed and stored his finished puzzle book back in his bag and then tried his best to get some sleep.

After 30 minutes of trying to sleep, Duo gave up and tried his best to find things to do. He couldn't make letters with his pretzels because the food had not come yet. He couldn't listen to his music because it had run out of battery. Nor could he play hangman with Wu-man, not that the Chinese boy would want to anyways, because Wufei was sound asleep with his arms crossed firmly over his chest.

Duo Maxwell was bored. In fact he was VERY bored. He checked his clock nervously but found no relief when he saw that they still had 5 hours left in the flight. He looked down the isle and realized that the food trolley was finally coming.

'YES!' Duo thought smiling to himself. 'FOOODD'.

When the flight attendant with the food finally came by Duo smiled and gave her a wink.

The nervous lady then asked "Sir, may I get you a beverage and some snacks?"

"Uhh, lets see here. Can I have a Sprite and one of every snack you offer?" Duo counted with his fingers.

The flight attendant gave him an incredulous look but finally gave Duo his food and drink. She piled potato chips, pretzels, nutri-grain bars and crackers all on top of Duo's tray.

The flight attendant was about to ask Wufei when Duo interrupted her. "Don't worry bout him, he'll be sleeping for a while, but while you're at it, he'll have a sprite as well." Duo smiled at his generosity of ordering Wufei a drink.

The braided boy took his time as he sipped his sprite and munched on his snacks. He kept himself busy for about an hour until he finished his snacks. After he knew that there was nothing left to do, his mind began to wonder. He looked over to his fellow pilot and watched for any signs of stirring.

Wufei Chang was out cold. Duo couldn't blame him. The boy had had a mission on his own for the past 4 days and hadn't even slept an hour since then. Wufei was a very hard worker and he was very passionate about the war, and that was one thing Duo had to admit that he admired.

Duo didn't know why he liked to make fun of Wufei and Heero so much. Maybe it was that both had huge tempers and when they got mad, it was hilarious. Duo knew that he had to pull something, otherwise he'd drive himself crazy.

Duo looked at Wufei's sprite and smirked. 'He's gonna kill me… but hey, it's definitely worth it.'

Duo looked up to where the light and air controls were and pressed for the flight attendant help button.

Quatre stirred slightly from his book when he noticed Duo pressing the flight attendant button. 'Uh oh' he thought. He waited however, just to see what would happen.

Sure enough the flight attendant came walking down the isle and stopped in front of Duo. Quatre watched as Duo, with a devilish smirk on his face, whispered into the flight attendant's ear. Her expression changed to an awkward and crazy stare at Duo, and Quatre was about to apologize but the flight attendant nodded and left down the isle.

"What did you ask her?" Quatre asked curiously in a hushed voice.

"Oh just wondering if they had some TUMS. My stomach was feeling odd after those snacks." The words rolled right off Duo's tongue. He was a natural liar, well when it came to pranks.

When the flight attendant came back Duo thanked her and quickly hid the object. Quatre had already turned back to continue reading his book and the other two pilots were still typing vigorously away at their laptops.

Making sure the coast was clear, Duo quickly opened the object and poured its contents into Wufei's drink. He then crumpled the wrapper and stuffed it in his pocket. Now all he had to do was wake Wufei up.

Duo began getting up and 'accidentally' bumped into Wufei, enough to make him stir from his sound sleep.

"MAXWELL What the hell are you doing??" Wufei growled but kept his voice on the low so he didn't get them all in trouble.

"Sorry buddy, just had to go to the bathroom. Oh by the way I ordered you a sprite." With that Duo casually strolled away from the scene and walked towards the back of the shuttle. When he actually reached the bathroom there was a line. He waited a few minutes, and without even going, he headed back towards his seat. When he returned Wufei had once again fell asleep. This time however, the sprite in Wufei's cup was gone.

'SCORE! Now I just gotta wait' Duo smiled and found himself falling into a deep sleep and dreaming of when Wufei got up.

The shuttle landed at its exact scheduled time and each pilot had successfully fallen asleep by the end of the trip. The aircraft came to an abrupt stop and all five pilots were jolted from their sleep. Duo woke up with anticipation and impatience, but he remained complacent and gathered his things. He watched as his fellow pilot got up and stretched his arms. Wufei was just gathering his things when the color drained from his face.

"You ok over there Wu-man?" Duo tried his best to hide his laughter.

"MAXWELLLL!!!!" Wufei began to take off after Duo who was pushing his way off the plain but Trowa grabbed his collar and pulled him back.

"We don't need publicity Wufei" He gave Wufei a serious face and the boy nodded in agreement.

The four pilots walked casually off the plain and followed the crowd to the exit. When the came to the doors they found Duo already waiting with an unfamiliar man. Duo flagged them down and the four pilots took the stranger to be J's assistant.

"I'm Scott, Dr. J's assistant. You guys have everything?" The stranger looked around for their luggage.

"Hai. We've got everything. And nice to meet you, I'm Quatre." The two shook hands and Scott took the initiative to lead the Gundam pilots towards the car.

They all crammed into a small SUV and began heading towards wherever Dr. J's new hideout was located. About halfway through the trip each and every one began to smell horrible, putrid, and 'silent but deadly' GAS.

Trowa and Quatre politely put their heads down, trying their best not to let it affect them.

Heero and Wufei acted as if it had never happened and continued starring out the window. Duo on the other hand threw himself for the window and opened it to reveal fresh air.

"Common He-man it's polite to say excuse me!" Duo grinned, it couldn't have been better!

Heero, relieved they were no longer in the air port pulled out his gun.

"Omae O Korosu"

"Oh, so it wasn't you? Who was it?" Duo looked around the car.

"Duo that's so rude!" Quatre exclaimed and blushed when he later added in to 'not me' replies that were coming from the rest of the car. Duo shook his head and closed the window.

After about another 10 minutes another rip was let out, but this time WORSE. Trowa coughed, Heero held his nose, Quatre pulled his shirt over his mouth, Scott weaved on the road and Duo gagged. Every single window was rolled down immediately and each person managed to throw their head out the window.

"It came from that side of the car!" Duo exclaimed. He pointed his finger towards Quatre and Wufei.

"Wu-man can you keep it to yourself for at least 10 more minutes till we get there?" Duo complained.

"And how the hell do you know it's me?? For all we care it could be any six of us!!" Wufei turned red, his anger and embarrassment growing.

"Whatever you say" Duo leaned back amused at his progress already. For the next ten minutes the gas stream became more continual and the windows stayed open without being touched. Each pilot looked around nervously for the culprit while Wufei sulked away in the corner of the car.

When the pilots reached a tiny house in the middle of the forest they quickly walked to the door, anxious to find out their new assignment. Poor Wufei however was anxious to find something else; a bathroom.

Scott opened the door with a scanned key and opened the door for the five Gundam pilots. As soon as they entered the dimly lit and ancient but well kept house a familiar voice came from the speakers on the wall.

"Hello there! You're just in time! I've not only finished all you're Gundam updates but also finalized your mission details and converted all of your sizes." The doctor chuckled after his last comment. "I want all of you to meet me in the basement in 10 minutes. Understood?"

"Yes sir" Quatre answered promptly. One answer was enough or the scientist and the house became silent once again.

"Make yourselves at home" Scott gestured towards the upstairs where five clean bedrooms awaited them. Wufei took his chance and bolted up the stairs.

"What's gotten into Wufei?" Quatre seemed the slightest bit worried. He then looked to Duo. "Duo what'd you do this time?"

Duo burst into laughter. He couldn't have possibly held it any longer. He pulled out the wrapper from his pocket and displayed it for the rest of the pilots to see.

"I told the flight attendant that I had been really constipated and asked her if she had anything that would loosen my stools. She gave me the perfect laxative!" Duo held his stomach in pain of laughter.

Trowa and Heero shook their heads while Quatre held his head from such thoughts. Just then more havoc was stirred.

"MAXWELLLLLL!!!!!!!" Wufei ran at full speed down the stairs and chased Duo several times around the house. When he was coming around the final bend and was inching closer to Duo's braid he fell through a hole in the floor and landed perfectly into a cushioned seat. Wufei looked up to where the trap had been setup but the hole was once again covered.

"Ahh. How nice of you to join me early Wufei" Dr. J gave him a friendly smile and prepared five folders for the mission.

"Your Katana won't be necessary for this meeting" Wufei released his anger and stored his Katana for the time being.

After a minute or so the rest of the pilots joined Wufei in the basement. Computers and radars lined the wall and the only source of light was from their screens. Crumpled pieces of paper with previous missions, plans and data were scattered over the floor. The only sign of a human were the old coffee mugs, piled on a far counter in the back of the HUGE room.

"It's good to see you all still alive. This mission is going to be most definitely your most important and dangerous of them all."

Each pilot became serious and listened intently to what the Doctor had to say.

"This will undoubtedly be your hardest task. Not only that but the first time you will have pursued it in such a way." Dr J smirked and began to hand out a folder to each of the bewildered pilots.

"For this mission you will be….."

Hey guys! Long chapter I know but I had to get a prelude going. I want you guys to vote on what the pairings should be and I'll total it up and post them when I've had enough votes. That way everybody's happy! Anyways…. Hope you all enjoyed it!!!!

Ja ne!


	2. The Painful Makeover

Hey Mina! Sorry I haven't been able to update! I've been in the middle of sats, volunteering, sports, orchestra, a job, school, college fairs….you name it. I just can't wait till junior year is OVER. But anyways, I just HAD to update this story. So because I left you in a cliffhanger we'll get right to it!

Usagi Hime: Well Heero?

Usagi Hime:… Heero?

Heero: Hn

Usagi Hime: say it!!!

Duo: Aw common He-man! I thought you were smarter than that… most people learn to talk when they're two.

Heero: Omae O Korosu

Duo: haha yea right.

(click)

Duo: heheh maybe not? AHHHHHHHH!!!!! (runs away)

Usagi: ugh once again, I don't own them.

Recall from Chapter 1

"It's good to see you all still alive. This mission is going to be most definitely your most important and dangerous of them all."

Each pilot became serious and listened intently to what the Doctor had to say.

"This will undoubtedly be your hardest task. Not only that but the first time you will have pursued it in such a way." Dr J smirked and began to hand out a folder to each of the bewildered pilots.

"For this mission you will be….."

End Chapter 1

"For this mission you will be….."

"Super powerful cowboys with HUGE rifles and X-ray vision cowboy hats!!" Duo butted in.

"Duooooo…." Wufei began pulling out his katana but J pulled him back down into his seat. J gave Duo a ' be serious or I'll let Heero and Wufei kill you glare' and the braided boy sat up right in his seat, completely motionless.

"Now, as I was saying. For this mission none of you will have no choice to accept or decline. That includes you Heero."

"But Heero's never declined a mission" Quatre added in puzzled.

"Ahh, but something tells me he would decline this one. Why don't you all follow me?"

Each of the pilots courteously followed the short scientist into another large room with a computer containing a screen of about 9' by 9'. All five pilots stood around the old man while he punched buttons and codes into the computer like there was no tomorrow. Finally the screen came to life as it displayed five colorful teenage girls.

"We're supposed to kill them? Weak onas???" Wufei crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. This was definitely not worth his time.

"If you had been patient Wufei you would understand that you will be doing just the opposite. Besides, any one of these girls could wipe you off your feet."

Duo was sent into howls of laughter. "Did ya hear that Wu-man?! An ona could beat YOU!"

Wufei lunged for Duo and it took Trowa, Quatre, and Heero to hold the infuriated Chinese boy in place.

"Stop shitting around!!!" J glared at the two, his face turning beet red.

Wufei clenched his fists and decided to ignore Duo…for the time being. Duo continued to smirk but then focused his attention on the five outrageously gorgeous girls in front of him.

"These five girls are the main reason for Oz's sudden silence. If Oz gets a hold of them permanently, they will have more power than any human or soldier could possibly think of. We're looking at the five most powerful humans of the universe at this very moment."

"What? They don't even look that mean or powerful! They just look incredibly HOTT!! Do we get to be body guards or sumtin?" Duo grinned devilishly, and his eyebrows raised as he sent his gesture towards J.

"Well that's part of it, you could say… but then again how on earth will we find the right Oz soldiers responsible for this at the same time?" Dr. J ignored Duo's boyish comment and continued.

"I have found an all-in-one solution for our problem that will give us the most direct affects. It however might be extremely hurtful to all of your egos. Follow me please."

The five pilots stopped dead in their tracks at Dr. J's last response.

"What do you mean by hurting our ego….?" Quatre asked nervously.

"I think it's better for you to see it first" Dr. J gave them an evil, jocular grin, and then turned to lead them into a new room.

The pilots slowly and cautiously followed the scientist into once again, another HUGE room. They were, however, surprised to find a few more people in the room. Five to be exact.

"I'm not sure if I'm liking this" Trowa mumbled into Quatre's ear. Quatre nodded and gulped his fear down his throat.

"Pilots, meet your, ahem, costume designers."

Suddenly all the lights flashed on and the five pilots were given a full view of five chairs, five beauticians, five hair-dye sets, five cases of make-up, five silicone sets of...boobs, several pairs of stilettos, five waxing kits, five school-girl uniforms….etc.

"O…SHIT!!" Duo yelped and ran for the door. He then found himself being stampeded by the other four pilots trying to beat him first on the way out. All doors shut automatically and the pilots stopped motionless in their place. In exception to Duo who had tried to crawl under the mechanic door but had gotten his braid stuck.

"I don't want fake tiiiittss" Duo cried out loud.

Wufei scratched, clawed and banged on the metal door, hoping to release hinges that it didn't have. Quatre glued himself flat to the door out and his face went pale. Trowa stood motionless, his eyes blank, his face blue. And as for the perfect soldier, he stood there, unable to take the deception, so he pulled out his famous gun.

He walked firmly over to Dr. J and for the first time, pointed the gun at his boss. "Omae O Korosu"

"Ahhh. I figured this would be my first time to receive that. Now Heero, why let such a minor distraction keep you from ending this war once and for all? This could be your very last mission if all goes well."

"MINOR?!" Duo squeaked loudly from the floor. "This is CATOSTROPHIC! J, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?!?"

Dr. J chuckled at the braided boy's comment. "Think of it this way Duo. It'll bring you closer to these five gorgeous girls."

The room went silent until finally a great sigh was heard. "FINE. But can I at least be a AAA bra or something? I don't want huge watermelons bringing down my game."

"We'll see. Now get up so I can explain to you what's going on."

"That would be a problem…" Duo tugged on his hair but it wouldn't budge.

"I'll take care of that" Wufei grabbed his katana.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Duo screamed. Just before Wufei brought down his katana, Dr. J opened the door the slightest bit, enough for Duo to get away.

Duo bolted up and ran to J so he could quickly get away from Wufei.

The room once again became quiet as they all stared at J once again.

"Well Heero?" he raised an eyebrow, waiting for his perfect soldier to respond.

"Accepted."

"Good! Two down! How 'bout three more?" J looked back to the remaining three pilots.

Quatre's head went down in defeat but he slowly moved towards J. "I'll do it. Not that we had a choice anyways…"

Trowa soon followed but said nothing, his face was still blue.

"Wufei?" J walked over to the helpless Wufei who had once again began banging on the door. The Chinese boy didn't dare look back. He could never be forced to become something he had denied his whole life. He could never be weak.

"Wufei its just ONE mission"

"NO"

"You'll get to keep your hair color."

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM BECOMING A WEAK ONA!!"

"I'll get you a brand new katana case of pure gold"

Wufei turned around and gave J a skeptical look. He glared at him hard and long. Minutes went by and his expression didn't change. J never once quit the staring contest and continued to challenge Wufei's silence. Wufei thought long and hard.

"As long as I get to keep my hair" he almost whimpered.

"Well done, now all of you come here"

Dr. J pulled out five folders each containing hundreds of papers. "Each of you will be the scout that I have assigned you to. Which also means that you cannot SWITCH. There will be a few minor changes to your body, however nothing will be 'horribly' painful."

"Scouts? Quatre asked confused.

"Yes. These girls are no ordinary humans. They are the Sailor Scouts that defend the universe. Each of them has specific supernatural powers."

"SWEEET. Do we get to share these powers?" Duo gleamed with a hint of happiness.

"No. These aren't powers I can just GIVE you. These girls are direct descendants of the Gods. Specifically: Jupiter, Mars, Venus, Mercury and of course, the Moon. They were born with these powers and contain them within their bodies."

Duo slumped slightly but continued to listen for his further directions.

J looked at the folders and began to hand them out to each of the pilots. Each pilot was afraid to find which girl they were going to be. Ten careful hands slowly and torturously opened five separate folders.

"Now, each of you choose a chair and we'll begin." J gestured his hands towards the beauticians.

Duo went over to Wufei and whispered in his ear. "Looks like your beautician has a special liking for you. Looks like you won't be a bad ona after all Wu-man." Wufei's face paled from the remark considering the fact that his beautician was a guy.

"GIVE ME YOUR BRAID!!!!!!!!" Wufei reached for his katana. And realized the case was empty. Wufei's face went pale. He turned to find Dr. J holding the katana carelessly, and laughing.

"Don't worry you won't be needing this while I go order the size for your 'new' case." With that Dr. J allowed himself out the door and closed it quickly behind him to avoid and last-minute change of minds.

"Here goes nothing.." Quatre slowly sat down in his chair and weakly smiled at his beautician.

"What's first?"

"Hair" she answered politely. And as soon as she finished her sentence metal straps clung to Quatre's limbs, enabling him to leave. Four other chairs followed the example simultaneously.

Soon the room became a hurried rush of cutting, dyeing, and putting on hair extensions. A few whimpers could be head from Duo's direction but besides that the room was nearly silent.

Next came the eyebrows, which wasn't the best of pleasant surprises. Immediately Wufei's voice rung throughout the room. "KETSUNOANA! Don't you dare touch me with those, those… WHATEVER THE HELL THEY ARE!" Shortly after his voice became muffled by what seemed like a rag.

(AN: KetsunoanaAsshole)

Next was the make-up. And all the pilots were groaning at this point. Wufei had found some way to scream through the rag the beautician had stuffed lightly in his mouth.

"MO WAY!!! 'UT 'IP GOSS ON 'E 'ND YOU DIE!!!"

Eye shadow was applied in a ray of assortments, and mascara was heavily applied. Eyelash curlers were probably used for over ten minutes and nails were quickly manicured and painted.

Finally the last step was left but it was the 'unmentioned' and unknown step. It would be, by far the worst task for the beauticians to accomplish.

Duo's beautician quickly brought out a disguised wax kit and tried as fast as she could to apply the wax to his leg.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEBODY PLEASE!!! SHOOT MEEE!!!" He cried. He closed his eyes and tried to squirm his way out of the chair he had been strapped to.

'RIIIPP'

At the very sound ALL of the pilots began to squirm and muscle their way out of the bonds. They couldn't handle it.

"'ONT YOU 'ARE! AHHHHHH!!!" Wufei screamed furiously and almost tipped over his chair.

Heero desperately tried his hardest to grab his gun and then realized that J had taken it along with Wufei's katana. He swore to himself and made a note to kill the scientist later.

"Miss, is that really necessary? I mean I have blonde hair and all. Please? Spare me?" the beautician ignored him and began waxing his first leg. Quatre gulped and closed his eyes.

At this point Trowa had found some way to fall asleep. Anything to rid the pain and grief he was going through.

Finally, all the backs, chests, legs, arms, underarms, and faces had been waxed and there was only one place left.

Duo was just about to release his stress when he realized his beautician was not done. "Um where else is there left to do?" Suddenly Duo's chair began to split apart at the legs.

"I DON'T WANNA DIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!" and with that last thought Duo passed out.

Wufei began to witness the same thing and his eyes became bowling balls.

"NO 'UCKING 'AY IN 'ELL!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Wufei shook and shook but at this point his beautician had bolted his chair and it didn't budge. Wufei almost felt himself at the verge tears and watched as the last of the wax was applied and as he lost what felt like all of his manly ego.

Heero coughed violently, choking on the incredulous thought that Dr. J would ever do this to them. Perfect soldier or not there WAS a certain limit and this was WAY PAST IT.

"OMAE O KOROSU!!!" the scream from the perfect soldier startled the other pilots and the room became silent. Not once had the pilots heard Heero scream and it would be the first and only time as well. In the area next to him Heero heard Quatre pass out and heard Trowa awaken to a sad, sad, discovery.

Finally after the waxing was done and the clothes and silicone 'watermelons' were given to the pilots. Each of them was released from the hell of a room. It took them almost five minutes to walk out however and each hobbled out slowly, wincing with each step.

At the door they each looked up at each other each in disbelief. Duo eyed his fellow pilots up and down and smirked when he came to Heero.

"Damn, Heero not bad! You're Sailor……."

Hey Guys! Hope you liked this chap! Next should be up soon….I hope depends on my sched but yea. PLEASE REVIEW! And if you guys review I'll let you VOTE ON THE PAIRINGS. Hope you like it! Jan e!


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